Alphabetical Listing of Paul Thorn Song Lyrics |
800 Pound Jesus I saw a garage sale Pulled up in the yard Found a statue of Jesus That was eight feet tall He held out his arms And he seemed all alone So I loaded him up And I drove him home Out by my driveway He looks down the street Long hair and sandals Made of rebar and concrete I painted him white With a long purple robe He's the rock of ages On a gravel road He's an 800 pound Jesus Standing taller than a tree He's an 800 pound Jesus A bigger man than you or me I felt losing my job Was the end of the world Till my best pal Ran off with my best girl I felt suicidal With no real friends So I walked outside With a rope in my hands Out by that statue There's a big oak tree So I stood on his shoulders And I counted to three I had every intention Of buying the farm But when I jumped off He caught me in his arms He's an 800 pound Jesus Standing taller than a tree He's an 800 pound Jesus A bigger man than you or me I wanted to return The favor to him Cause I've never had A more solid friend So I planted some flowers All around his feet And I bought him a flock Of ceramic sheep He's an 800 pound Jesus Standing taller than a tree He's an 800 pound Jesus A bigger man than you or me He's a bigger man than you or me Accept My Love I ain't good looking Got a compact car It don't look like I'll ever be a star My clothes are ragged And my rap is too I ain't always clever When I try to talk to you But baby that don't mean I ain't good enough So accept my love I don't look like a Chippendale In a black bowtie I'm at the seven-eleven From nine to five Rough around the edges That's what I am So don't write me off girl Cause I ain't your kind of man What's in my heart Is powerful stuff So accept my love So accept my love Why are your standards so high? You ought to give me a try Why do you treat me so rough? Why won't you accept my love? When I'm eating chicken all alone I think of you girl And I gnaw the bone I dialed your number But I couldn't get through So I bought a blow-up doll That looked just like you But these rubber lips I'm kissing Ain't warm enough So accept my love Accept my love Why are your standards so high? You ought to give me a try Why do you treat me so rough? Why won't you accept my love? Please A Heart Like Mine You say that love Has cut you like a knife baby You've had enough And your hurting inside maybe You think falling in love Is just wasting your time But all those other Joes You've been talking to They all left you cold That's something I won't do Just take a chance On a heart like mine Baby baby Heart like mine It's what you've been looking for Heart like mine You ain't got to look no more Heart like mine For a heart like mine A heart like mine A heart like mine What you gonna' do With a heart like mine? I told you once I told you twice All you need Is a heart like mine Now now now now Baby baby Lord have mercy I ain't the type To just give up on you I'll make you mine And I won't take "No" from you It ain't a matter of doubt It's just a matter of time Just take my hand baby I won't let you go I'll be your man And I'll never forget you so How could you lose With a heart like mine? Baby baby Heart like mine Is what you've been looking for Heart like mine You ain't gotta' look no more Heart like mine For a heart like mine Yeah yeah yeah A heart like mine What you gonna' do With a heart like mine? I told you once I told you twice All you need Is a heart like mine A heart like mine A heart like mine What you gonna' do With a heart like mine? I told you once I told you twice All you need Is a heart like mine Ain't Gonna' Beg I hold you close In the middle of the night You pull away Just when it starts feeling right I've tried everything Just to make you want me If you think I won't go girl Just wait and see I ain't gonna' beg I ain't gonna' plead If I ain't what you want You ain't what I need I wanna' be your man But I ain't gonna' crawl So make up your mind girl If you want me at all Don't take me for granted You better believe You're standing on the edge Of a bad memory I ain't gonna' beg I ain't gonna' plead If I ain't what you want You ain't what I need I might fall in love But I won't fall to my knees I ain't gonna' beg I ain't gonna' plead I'm going back to Mississippi Well I might fall in love But I won't fall to my knees No, I ain't gonna' beg And I ain't gonna' plead It don't do me no good when I do If I ain't what you want You ain't what I need I ain't gonna' beg I ain't gonna' plead If I ain't what you want You ain't what I need Ain't Livin In Sin No More There's Christmas lights in the backyard On the 23rd day of June There's a big cake on a washtub With a plastic bride and groom All the neighbors and their relatives Brought their own folding chairs Her mama thanked the good lord above For answering her prayers They ain't living in sin no more Well they hired a part-time preacher Who fixes chainsaws on the side The boom-box played "Endless Love" And Alabama's "Feels So Right" She said, "I do" And he did too She threw a bouquet in the air They drove away in a black Firebird With Minute Rice in their hair They ain't living in sin no more Ain't living in sin no more Since they took those wedding vows Who are the neighbors Gonna' talk about now? Ain't living in sin no more, halleluiah They came home after the honeymoon And nothing had really changed Except for a legal document And her different last name The Church of God preacher Came over, he said, "We've all been praying you, And now that you're living right We want ya'll to come back To Sunday school" They ain't living in sin no more Ain't living in sin no more Since they took those wedding vows Who are the neighbors Gonna' talk about now? Ain't living in sin no more, halleluiah Yeah, it's easy to find a lover But it's hard to find a friend So they decided to test the waters Before they jumped in Ain't living in sin no more Ain't living in sin no more Since they took those wedding vows Who are the neighbors Gonna' talk about now? Ain't living in sin no more Thank you Jesus Ain't living in sin no more Ain't living in sin no more Ain't living in sin no more Ain't living in sin no more Ain't Love Strange Down at Donnie's strip club They all know my name I can't get a woman So I sit beside the stage I think Heather really likes me As she wiggles in my face Takes my forty dollars Turns and walks away Ain't love strange They honeymooned a week or two Until the thrill was gone Now down the street those newlyweds Been fighting all night long Through a hail of flying dishes The police finally came They hauled 'em off in separate cars With cuff and ankle chains Ain't love strange Ain't love stra-a-a-a-a-a-ange Ain't love strange Ain't love stra-a-a-a-a-a-ange Ain't love strange Two gay nympho Quakers On the Jerry Springer show Came strutting out in lingerie To let their family know Their daddy lost his temper When they walked out on the stage Their mama said, "I love my sons, No matter how they've changed" Ain't love strange Ten roosters in the barnyard And just one little hen They jockey for position By cock-a-doodle-in' They flap their wings And strut around Sometimes they fight all day Those fresh eggs ain't the only thing That's needing to get laid Ain't love strange Ain't love stra-a-a-a-a-a-ange Ain't love strange Ain't love stra-a-a-a-a-a-ange Ain't love strange Now God and mama Will love you unconditionally Your woman will love you If you're faithful Your dog will love you If you throw him a bone The devil will love you If you sin Your children will love you If you buy them some candy And I will love you If you put on that Blue and white polka-dot miniskirt With black stiletto heels And just let me sit back And watch you do an interpretive dance To this little groove I got going, one, two Ain't love strange Ain't love stra-a-a-a-a-a-ange Ain't love strange Ain't love stra-a-a-a-a-a-ange Ain't love strange I can't figure it Ain't love stra-a-a-a-a-a-ange Ain't love strange Ain't love stra-a-a-a-a-a-ange Almost What You Need You smile at me But your green eyes Never linger You turn away You talk to me And twirl your long hair With your finger I'm blown away And you don't realize When you walk away I die inside Now I'm missing out On all of your love I came close but Just not close enough I knew going in There was no guarantee Just my luck I'm almost what you need When you feel down And all alone You always call me and I make you laugh You swear you love me Heart and soul Just like the brother You never had But whatever I do I always end up Without you girl Now I'm missing out On all of your love I came close but Just not close enough I knew going in There was no guarantee Just my luck I'm almost what you need Now I'm missing out On all of your love I came close but Just not close enough I knew going in There was no guarantee Just my luck I'm almost what you need A Lot Of Good Reasons We used to sit in our Jacuzzi And drink Colt 45 Now I'm living in a motel Out on I-65 I had a record collection That meant the world to me You got my Bob Marley, Patsy Kline And the best of Al Green We had a concrete drive And a naugahyde love seat Wall to wall shag carpet Down on Maple Street I broke my back just to Buy you all that stuff, oh yeah I kept receipts for everything Except your love I got a lot of good reasons To come back around I want my big screen TV With home theater sound I miss that heart-shaped bed with the Velvet covers turned down I got a lot of good reasons To come back around There ain't none of it justified But here's the way it is The judge said she's grown Accustomed to the way she lives If I don't pay alimony They're gonna' put me in jail I'm eating crackers and bologna Buying clothes on sale I got a lot of good reasons To come back around I want my big screen TV With home theater sound I miss that heart-shaped bed with the Velvet covers turned down I got a lot of good reasons To come back around Angel Too Soon In a little white house On a blacktop road In her sleep is where she died She walked through a tunnel With a light at the end And swam across the river of life God gave her a mansion On a hill in heaven And her wings that afternoon The preacher said She's in a better place But if you want to know the truth She's an angel too soon A pretty flower that never bloomed Somewhere on the other side Of the moon She's an angel too soon Around the house there's an emptiness But her room still looks the same There's heart-throb posters on the wall And a Barbie makeup case Today would have been her birthday So her mama made her favorite cake She wasn't there to blow out the candles But daddy lit 'em anyway She's an angel too soon A pretty flower that never bloomed Somewhere on the other side Of the moon She's an angel too soon It's so hard for us to understand Why she was taken away But if we could see her spread her wings Maybe then we wouldn't say She's an angel too soon A pretty flower that never bloomed Somewhere on the other side Of the moon She's an angel too soon She's an angel too soon Are You With Me? Out in the middle Of nowhere to go Here we are parked on a Gravel road There's ice in the cooler And there's fire in your kiss I guess the sky's the limit On a night like this Oh are you with me baby? Are you thinking like me? When you lay down at night Do you see me in your dreams? I'm standing on the edge now But before I take this leap Whoa, I need to know Are you with me baby? You make me laugh when the World closes in on me When I'm in your arms That's right where I wanna' be Before I fall any farther Baby there's just one thing If I give you my heart What's in it for me? Oh are you with me baby? Are you thinking like me? When you lay down at night Do you see me in your dreams? I'm standing on the edge now But before I take this leap Whoa I need to know Are you with me baby? Life is short But the road is long I just need to know That I won't go alone Oh are you with me baby? Are you thinking like me? When you lay down at night Do you see me in your dreams? I'm standing on the edge now But before I take this leap Whoa I need to know Are you with me baby? A Star That Fell Down I saw Cinderella On Heartache and Vine She sang a'capella And turned dollars into wine Through the crowd I heard the melody Of Mississippi you're on my mind Though no one noticed I saw a tear fall from her eye She's like a star that fell down On the wrong side of town But to me she's shining More than all these city lights Back in Tupelo tonight Something's missing in the sky Must be a star that fell down I took her picture standing Outside the Hollywood Bowl She believed that one day They'll come here to see her show She waded in the fountain Among the wishes others threw in She didn't have a penny So I tossed one in She's like a star that fell down She's like a star that fell down On the wrong side of town But to me she shines More than all these city lights Back in Tupelo tonight Something's missing in the sky Must be a star that fell down In the city of angels Big dreams die hard Back home they don't know She's been sleeping in her car She parks it by a pay phone She gave the number To a friend of a friend She's waiting on a ship that Ain't ever coming in She's like a star that fell down On the wrong side of town But to me she shines More than all these city lights Back in Tupelo tonight Something's missing in the sky Must be a star that fell down She's like a star that fell down Black Rainbow It's such a lovely day The dark clouds Have all blown away But I ain't fooled It's not okay This pretty weather Won't ever stay, naw Heaven's on the other side They got streets of gold Two miles wide Reserved for them That's living right So why is everybody Afraid to die? I saw a black rainbow Way up high I saw a black rainbow In the sky My woman lost seventy pounds She let her hair hang down She's been out on the town I think she's fooling around I saw a black rainbow Way up high I saw a black rainbow In the sky Evil Knievel motorcycle flash Jumped a fountain for a lot of cash Winked at the girls as he flew past Missed the ramp and busted his I saw a black rainbow Way up high I saw a black rainbow In the sky Blue Stew I take one bucket full Of hair like gold Then add two heaping teaspoons Of lies she told Just a quart of tears And one half truth Then I mix it all up And have some blue stew Maybe I'll start My own little cooking show And then I'll be on TV From coast to coast I'll say here is my recipe For love-sick fools And it's easy to make I call it blue stew TV dinners, a beer or two Potato chips And the bitter truth I'm eating Blue stew, blue stew It's hard on the heart It ain't good for you When you're all alone At a table for two You're having blue stew You can't buy it at Your local grocery chain I sell it at my international House of pain If you're broken hearted Have a bowl or two Cause I'm a gourmet chef At cooking blue stew There ain't no red peppers In that boiling pot But when you get burned That's what makes it hot It's so hard to swallow When your love ain't true But I get lots of business Selling blue stew I'm eating words You said to me But I've got a hunger You would not believe I'm eating Blue stew, blue stew It's hard on the heart It ain't good for you When you're all alone At a table for two You're having blue stew Yeah I'm eating Blue stew, blue stew It's hard on the heart It ain't good for you When you're all alone At a table for two You're having blue stew Blue stew Burn Down The Trailer Park I borrowed some money And sold my car I put an Air Stream trailer Up on blocks That satellite dish Was my first mistake She started watching Oprah Winfrey And Ricky Lake She cut me down To once a week At supper time There wasn't nothing to eat I was paranoid And scared to death She came home with Aqua Velva On her breath Burn down the trailer park Shoot the pink flamingos Out in the yard I can't live here Since she broke my heart I'm gonna' burn down The trailer park She hired the neighbor's son To cut our grass She gave him cold iced tea And a piece of pie My landlord came While I was out of town Our pipes got fixed And the rent went down We fell asleep With the late show on And now it's three AM I wake up and she's gone I got a strong suspicion She's at it again And since I don't know Which trailer she's in I'm gonna': Burn down the trailer park Shoot the pink flamingos Out in the yard I can't live here Since she broke my heart I'm gonna' burn down The trailer park Jenny Jones don't understand Geraldo don't understand Maury Povich Sure don't understand I got a can of gas And I'm a dangerous man I'm gonna' burn down the trailer park Shoot the pink flamingos Out in the yard I can't live here Since she broke my heart I'm gonna' burn down The trailer park Burn down the trailer park Shoot the pink flamingos Out in the yard I can't live here Since she broke my heart I'm gonna' burn down The trailer park Burn down the trailer park Burn it down Butter My Biscuit Authentic southern cooking Is what you do the best Your Dixie fried recipes Are better than the rest Those turnip greens and cornbread They really hit the spot I'm crazy about your taters And those big old hams you got But dessert is the best part And I don't ever miss it I never leave the table girl Until you butter my biscuit One night I got hungry And you were not around So I went to a drive-thru On the cheating side of town A lot was on the menu There was brunettes and blonds But they couldn't hold a candle So I kept driving on You see artificial margarine Ain't ever gonna' get it Cause I know I got the real thing girl When you butter my biscuit When hunger pains Come crashing down You get it hot and you Spread it around You take off your apron And put away your skillet I always get satisfied When you butter my biscuit You love 'em when they're home made You like 'em from a can It don't matter how I fix 'em You say I'm still your man I know I've got a good thing So I ain't gonna' risk it There's nothing like the thrill I get When you butter my biscuit When hunger pains Come crashing down You get it hot and you Spread it around You take off your apron And put away your skillet I always get satisfied When you butter my biscuit Whoa I always get satisfied When you butter my biscuit Double Wide Paradise I don't wanna' cry I don't wanna' walk the floor This mobile home Don't feel like home no more But since you left Tell me what else can I do? Just come back home Forgive me and forget it This bed I made I'm tired of sleeping in it It's freezing cold And baby that ain't cool I'm waiting on you Here at the Ponderosa trailer park There wasn't nothing That could tear us apart But then I broke your heart In our Double wide, double wide Double wide paradise Come on back to our Double wide paradise Double wide, double wide Double wide paradise I bought a swimming pool From the man at Sears He put it together I filled it up with tears Can't find no happiness No matter what I do Just cause I've got The treasures of the world They don't mean nothing If I ain't got you girl Inside my castle I got the king sized blues I'm waiting on you So baby when you get To feeling alone You know I always leave My porch light on So you can come back home To our Double wide, double wide Double wide paradise Come on back to our Double wide paradise Double wide, double wide Double wide paradise We can have a second honeymoon We'll throw some ribs on the barbeque Just like we used to do In our Double wide, double wide Double wide paradise Come on back to our Double wide paradise Double wide, double wide Double wide paradise Downtown Babylon Down at the Baptist Sunday school board I work stacking bibles From seven to four I guess the will of God Has got to be obeyed But I know I wouldn't do it If I didn't get paid, amen I left the girl of my dreams Four-hundred miles away With just a Polaroid picture And a tear on her face Mama gave me a card For my telephone line Those five-hundred minutes Won't cost me a dime I'm in downtown Babylon A long, long way from home I thought it was the promised land But something's wrong Here in Downtown Babylon Standing on the corner it's easy to see Forbidden fruit is on every tree Oh you can get an apple From a snake on a limb He's just looking for a sucker He can take in Here in downtown Babylon A long, long way from home I thought it was the promised land But something's wrong Here in downtown Babylon, Babylon Well I wonder now if I was born to run I'm starting to feel like the prodigal son I don't know why back home They all envy me Cause I'm living in the belly of the beast Here in Downtown Babylon A long, long way from home I thought it was the promised land But something's wrong Here in Downtown Babylon Babylon Downtown Babylon Everybody Looks Good (At The Starting Line) When you're born it's a beautiful thing They put a pacifier in your mouth You crawl around naked On the kitchen floor And your mom and daddy feel so proud Everybody looks good At the starting line Get on your mark, get ready But you better keep this in mind You can hit the ground running Like you're shot from a gun But going the distance Is the hard part son Everybody looks good At the starting line You fall in love, you tie the knot You're on a permanent honeymoon But twenty years later When the thrill is gone Will she still be in love with you Everybody looks good At the starting line Get on your mark, get ready But you better keep this in mind You can hit the ground running Like you're shot from a gun But going the distance Is the hard part son Everybody looks good At the starting line Yeah, yeah, move out Life is a race we've all got to run So stand up and toe the line I wish that I could say It was all down hill But there are mountains We've got to climb Everybody looks good At the starting line Get on your mark, get ready But you better keep this in mind You can hit the ground running Like you're shot from a gun But going the distance Is the hard part son Everybody looks good At the starting line Everybody looks good At the starting line Get on your mark, get ready But you better keep this in mind You can hit the ground running Like you're shot from a gun But going the distance Is the hard part son Everybody looks good At the starting line Sing it one more time Everybody looks good At the starting line Looks good Looks good At the starting line |
